she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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