brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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