Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
