he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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