bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
