i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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