Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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