Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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