Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
