He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
