that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
