i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
