he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
