Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
