Got a toothbrush?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
