The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
