Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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