she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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