Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
