idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
