i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize