Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
