READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
