Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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