I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
