wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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