So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
