A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
