i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hippo gnu deer
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
