I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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