I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
