I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
