she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also, beer. Big fan.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
