I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
