marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
