bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
