Don't you send me to vm
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
