If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
