If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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