Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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