i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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