Is it normal to miss your booty call?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
