MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
