a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
