Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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