We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
When did angry sex become our thing?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize