I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
