im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
