I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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