He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
