what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
