Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
