How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
