What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize