I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
