so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
