I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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