hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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