"it" just moved
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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