dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
